Beep, beep, beep. My alarm clock had just gone off. It is not like I was sleep anyway. Actually, I have not been able to sleep for a long time. I knew why, but I did not want to live up to it. I was hoping that I could just be stuck in bed all day, but I knew that was not going to happen. For the past two weeks, I could not get over the recent deaths of my family. My grandfather and my little cousin had died two weeks ago, both in the same week. I was hurt-crushed. It was more so like how they died. September 19 was the date the change my life; that was the day my little cousin died. Adrian was the cutest baby I ever scene. He was light-skinned with green eyes and had the curliest hair I have ever seen. From the first day I held him, I knew him and I would just click in ways others could not. As the months kept going, he and I grew closer. However, one night is what change everything. When Adrian was about six months, he died. His mother had put him in his crib when he was sleep. As the whole house went to bed, Adrian died. He rolled over when he was sleep and suffocated. Blood was everywhere. I woke up to screams and an ambulance taking away my favorite little cousin. The next day at the hospital, they announced he was dead. Everyone past around my little cousin and said good-bye. Hugs and kisses were given to dead Adrian, and all I could do was look. They passed him to me and I could not touch him. That day I felt like I had died with him. Besides my grandfather, I was the only one that did not touch Adrian. Maybe my grandfather felt the same way I did and shared that special connection. That moment only made matters worse. Three days later my grandfather died. I felt helpless. I felt as if the whole world had gone black, and I was the only white speck. We were so close and are time together was so short. I felt as if the deaths were deja’vu. I though I was going to go next since I also did not touch Adrian when he died. I was paranoid. Everyday I saw my grandfather face. All the times he gave me dollars to get water ice and quarters for bags of chips. I was nine and I did not know where to go in the world. I was lost, and wanted my grandfather to find me. I wanted to hold my little cousin again. I wanted to die. The funeral was held three days after my grandfather's death. I did not attend. I couldn’t. I felt as if I should be lying in the coffin with him. I stayed home and cried all day. I kept seeing my life flash before my eyes. Please do not tell me it was deja’vu. In addition, that’s were I found myself that night. Lying in the dark, looking at the alarm clock blink 6:30 in bright red. I figured it was time to move on with my life. It was time I got myself together. As the years went by, I learned to live without my grandfather. I miss them dearly, but I remember all the memories. I moved forward with my life, but I keep them both close. I’m glad I did not experience deja’vu. Both Adrian and my grandfather left a message when they died. Adrian message was live life to the fullest. Don’t take it for granted, cause it might just take you. My grandfather message was do something positive with your life. Be wise about your choices. I take both of these messages to my heart everyday. There gone but I’m still here-that’s counts for something.
Raven Cherel said...
1. Explain how the writer uses the first sentence or two to grab the reader’s attention. If the opening doesn’t grab your attention, give the writer a suggestion on how to do so.
2. What is your favorite line from the story? Why?
3. Quote the section that contains the most vivid sensory details.
4. What section could be improved through more detailed description including sensory details?
5. Does the ending wrap up the story?
6. What is clever and/or lively about the ending?
1. The writer does these by not really saying anything you only know that shen is just waking up.
2. My favorite line in the story is," I take both of these messages to my heart everyday." This is so because it touches my in so way.
3."He rolled over when he was sleep and suffocated. Blood was everywhere. I woke up to screams and an ambulance taking away my favorite little cousin."
4."My alarm clock had just gone off. It is not like I was sleep anyway. Actually, I have not been able to sleep for a long time. I knew why, but I did not want to live up to it." By telling how she felt and by not saying she didn't sleep could improve details.
5. Yes, it does.
6. She writes about what she does now to deal with her feelings.
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