Donte Polite
2/8/2008
Leo Mullen
6th P.D.
It was May 30, 1998 I was turning five years old. There was the smell of the food all through the air and the house. The smells ranged from fried chicken to seasoned fried shrimp. I was listening to rev run and the song that was playing was “Mind on the Road”
And at one point I thought this was heaven because everything was going great and everyone was just so happy. Later we all went into the backyard to break the piñata. I was first since it was my birthday and my party. Sadly I didn’t get to break open my piñata. So I made my self a promise and it was from this day forward I would be the one to break the piñata so I could always have this wonderful important feeling. After the piñata was broke open and the candy was gone we went back inside to cut the cake. So that how I am here now in this picture with my mom holding me and assisting me to cut my cake.
2 comments:
Donte
The real story here seems to be about breaking open the piñata. Take more time and add more details to that part. Color, sound, what candy came out. More about watching other hit it and how you wanted to be the one to break it since it was your birthday.
Leo
boring. not exciting enough
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