The Superman-final draft

As i looked out the window, the sun's beam reflected off the big and bright six flags sign. I stepped out the car and felt the scorching sun beaming down on my forehead. I put on my green-tinted glasses that matched perfectly with my outfit. That day I was sporting a green-blue bathing suit under my greenish-blue and white striped button up shirt, which had three buttons unloosened to show a little bit but not to much. I had on my new light-blue leans with hole in the knees, and a pair of green converses. I knew I was stunting, I just wanted everyone else to think so. My family and I grabbed our belongings and moved toward the park. Just as we got past security, I heard a loud noise. The sound was like the sound of thunder, rolling across the earth and making everyone shake. I looked up and saw the new addition to the park. THE SUPERMAN was written in big red letters, and it looked like the line was infinity and beyond. I did not really care much because I am not the roller coaster type, but the water park, yes, that is where I am going. I just could not get my mind of that roller coaster.
It was kind of like in the movies, when you hear a strange noise and you turn towards it. You know that your not suppose to go toward the sound, but you do it anyway. That is how I was feeling at that moment. It was huge, and it was not just like any roller coaster. Instead of sitting up, it lift you up so you were lying on your back. Then you put your hands up as superman does, and the roller coaster takes of with a bang. It was so cool. To bad, I do not ride roller coasters. Something in the back of my mind told me that the roller coaster and I was going to have a long day.
I enjoyed the rest of my day at the water park. My eye was still on that roller coaster. When it was about a hour before the park closed, I started getting my belonging and headed back to our dirty, rusty picnic table that the park provided as with. By the time, I ate and put my clothes on; I had about forty-minutes to enjoy the rest on the park. As I was leaving the food area, my cousins walked over all cheerful and giggly. Whatever they had did to get them like that I was going to try. I ask them what was going on, and they replied “The superman is the best ride every, we rode it four times already”. That’s was the ultimatum. I knew from this moment on, my life was about to make a dramastic change. As we walked up to the roller coaster, I notice that we were in another line than the main one. I asked “wats going on” and they replied, “We know some boy who works here who lets us go up the disable people line”. “Wow” was all I could say. As we closer, and closer to the ride, I felt my heart exploding causing my insides to explode. I always knew that one-day I was going to get on a roller coaster, but the craziest one in the park, I new I had lost my mind.
As I sat down on the roller coaster and they lock us in, I though about everything I said and everything I ever did. Before I could even wave to my family good-bye, they ride took off. I never in my life had been scared of roller coaster, but this one changed my mind. When it reached its highest peak, it shot down like a gun and I lost all the air I had in my lungs. I felt as if my whole body was going to slip right off the roller coaster so I held on tight. No more than 2 minutes later the ride was over. We got on it about three more times after that, and almost fell over are last time. This was the best experience of my life. Till this day, I’ll always cherish it.



Raven Cherel said...

1. Does this opening interest you? Explain. If it does not, suggest a way to make it better.
Yes, it does interest me because i liekamusment parks and I would like to know more about her day.

2. What do you think the narrative will be about?
I think this is going to be about her ride on THE SUPERMAN

3. Summarize the narrative in one or two sentences

She seen the rollercoster and made a decision to ride it or not. She rode the rollercoster and had fun.

4. Finish this statement: Things I liked best were…
the way she described the rollercoster.

5. Complete this statement: Things I would like to know more about were…
how her cusin knew the boy who worked there and how long it took for her to decide weather or not to ride the rollercoster.