The Heart Pounded So Fast That It's Out Of Beat. The Sweat Runs Down A Tunnel Like A Water Ride. My Eyes Was Focused On The Roaring Creatures And I Was Ready To Attack . What Held Me Back Was The Shyness And The Thought Of Others Watching. My Heart Raced , But Still i was Ready To Show The World What i Could Do. I Looked Outside And Saw The Crowd Screaming. We Was A Team Of 3 , All With Special Talents. It Was Klea , Teara and I , All About To Show What We Could Do And What We Kept A Secret. It Was The Year 2004 In The Month of June , It Was Held A Stearne Elementary School . It Was....The Fifth Grade Talent Show ! It Was Held In The School Yard Where We Had Recess .
It Was The Last Day Of School So We Thought We Should Leave With Something To Be Known For. It Was About 10 Minutes Before We Had To Perform , Teara and Klea Forgot Their Parts. I Was Mad Because It Took Me About 2 weeks To Make Up The Step And Teach Them and Then They Forgot ! I Was Furious And Upset . I Didn't Want To Be Embarrassed Because Of Two People That Don't Remember . I Yelled And Screamed and tried to get them to Remember . My Mom And Sister Came Over And Said " You Shouldn't Yell At Your Friends " But At The Moment I Didn't Care, Which Was Wrong . I Began To Cry And Said I Quit ! But Klea And Teara Said " Don't Quit This is Your Dream And You Deserve To Be Known. I Gave Them A Hug And Apologized For My Anger Earlier. They Forgave me and I Started To Show Them Their Parts Again , Hoping They Get It In time Before We Perform. We Looked Outside Again The Crowd Was Still Roaring Like Dinosaurs. The Announcer Was Telling Who Was Next We Was Second Before Last.
We Put On Our Uniforms To Perform We Had On A White Tee Shirt That Had Spray On It With The Colors Of Red And Blue . In The Middle Was Blue Letters That Said Our Group Name Which Was Called THE BIG TYMERS. On the Back Of The Shirt Was Our Favorite Numbers Mine Was 13 , On The Back Was Our Nicknames Which Was Day-Day , Leah and Tee-Tee. We Had On Half Cut Black Gloves And Any Jeans We Wanted To Put On , We All Had Adidas Sneakers On With Black Stripes. We Gathered Around And Started To Pray. The Announcer Called Our Group Name We Was Next ! We Got On Stage And Got In Our Positions , The Crowd Got Quiet I was scared I Never Danced In Public Before My Palms Was Sweating And My Heart Was Racing. The Music Started To Play We Was Dancing To " Yeah" By Usher Raymond. In My Mind I Was Thinking About If They Forgot Their Parts Again Or If I Mess Up . Well Guess What ? We Didn't , We Was The Best Act. The Crowd Was Screaming And Cheering. It Was Kind Of Funny Because It Was Our Friends. After We Performed, Everyone Was Running Towards Us Asking For Autographs And Congratulating Us, It Was Fun And Funny. It Felt Like We Were Celebrities. I Was Relieved And Happy. We Would've Won First Place But The Announcer Said Everyone Is A Winner. I Was Just Happy To Show My Talent And My Passion. Now I'm 14 Years Old, I Still Dance And Love It Truly. I Attended A Dance Session For Two Years And Also Got A Little Publicity From My Dancing. I Got Interviewed For My Dancing And It Was Shown World Wide. People Ask Me To Dance All The Time But I Still Get Shy And Nervous When I Do It. I Now Have My Own Dance Group And I'm Planning To Go To College In New York To Take On Choreography And Become What I Always wanted To Be And That Is . . . . . . A Dancer ,A positive Role Model ,All I Want Is To Be.......SOMEBODY!
It Was The Last Day Of School So We Thought We Should Leave With Something To Be Known For. It Was About 10 Minutes Before We Had To Perform , Teara and Klea Forgot Their Parts. I Was Mad Because It Took Me About 2 weeks To Make Up The Step And Teach Them and Then They Forgot ! I Was Furious And Upset . I Didn't Want To Be Embarrassed Because Of Two People That Don't Remember . I Yelled And Screamed and tried to get them to Remember . My Mom And Sister Came Over And Said " You Shouldn't Yell At Your Friends " But At The Moment I Didn't Care, Which Was Wrong . I Began To Cry And Said I Quit ! But Klea And Teara Said " Don't Quit This is Your Dream And You Deserve To Be Known. I Gave Them A Hug And Apologized For My Anger Earlier. They Forgave me and I Started To Show Them Their Parts Again , Hoping They Get It In time Before We Perform. We Looked Outside Again The Crowd Was Still Roaring Like Dinosaurs. The Announcer Was Telling Who Was Next We Was Second Before Last.
We Put On Our Uniforms To Perform We Had On A White Tee Shirt That Had Spray On It With The Colors Of Red And Blue . In The Middle Was Blue Letters That Said Our Group Name Which Was Called THE BIG TYMERS. On the Back Of The Shirt Was Our Favorite Numbers Mine Was 13 , On The Back Was Our Nicknames Which Was Day-Day , Leah and Tee-Tee. We Had On Half Cut Black Gloves And Any Jeans We Wanted To Put On , We All Had Adidas Sneakers On With Black Stripes. We Gathered Around And Started To Pray. The Announcer Called Our Group Name We Was Next ! We Got On Stage And Got In Our Positions , The Crowd Got Quiet I was scared I Never Danced In Public Before My Palms Was Sweating And My Heart Was Racing. The Music Started To Play We Was Dancing To " Yeah" By Usher Raymond. In My Mind I Was Thinking About If They Forgot Their Parts Again Or If I Mess Up . Well Guess What ? We Didn't , We Was The Best Act. The Crowd Was Screaming And Cheering. It Was Kind Of Funny Because It Was Our Friends. After We Performed, Everyone Was Running Towards Us Asking For Autographs And Congratulating Us, It Was Fun And Funny. It Felt Like We Were Celebrities. I Was Relieved And Happy. We Would've Won First Place But The Announcer Said Everyone Is A Winner. I Was Just Happy To Show My Talent And My Passion. Now I'm 14 Years Old, I Still Dance And Love It Truly. I Attended A Dance Session For Two Years And Also Got A Little Publicity From My Dancing. I Got Interviewed For My Dancing And It Was Shown World Wide. People Ask Me To Dance All The Time But I Still Get Shy And Nervous When I Do It. I Now Have My Own Dance Group And I'm Planning To Go To College In New York To Take On Choreography And Become What I Always wanted To Be And That Is . . . . . . A Dancer ,A positive Role Model ,All I Want Is To Be.......SOMEBODY!
2 comments:
luv it
Explain how the writer uses the first sentence or two
to grab the reader’s attention.
This first sentence does grab my attention it has a
little bit of a poetic feel to it.
What is your favorite line from the story? Why?
Quote the section that contains the most vivid sensory
details.
My fav line in this story would be the secound beacuse
of the metaphoric sense the writer protrays. The section with the most vivid sensory details is "My Eyes Was Focused On The Roaring Creatures And I Was Ready To Attack ."
What section could be improved through more detailed
description including sensory details?
Does the ending wrap up the story?
The dance moves she did and how she felt how while she
danced. it does wrap up the story.
What is clever and/or lively about the ending?
she says what she wants to become when she is old '' SOMEBODY''
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