Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The Encounter
Boom! Boom! Shots flared left and right. The sparks from the 9 millimeter hand guns flashed in the night sky. I ran as fast as I could to avoid being hit by the random gun fire. Finally I find shelter in a nearby ditch. Bang! Bang! The gunshots got louder. The adrenaline rushed through my veins at the speed of light. I could hear cop sirens in the distance and feeling of safety dawned on me. The cops were coming but not fast enough. I heard the approaching footsteps halt. At this point I thought I was done for, but I later heard the mysterious stranger flee. The cops had turned the corner and saved my life in the process.
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2 comments:
1.Explain how the writer uses the first sentence or two to grab the reader’s attention. If the opening doesn’t grab your attention, give the writer a suggestion on how to do so.
the first sentence did get my attention, but the rest of the story was a let down because of the lack of information. add more!
2.What is your favorite line from the story? Why?
Boom! Boom! Shots flared left and right. The sparks from the 9 millimeter hand guns flashed in the night sky.
3.Quote the section that contains the most vivid sensory details.
Not enough to determine
4.What section could be improved through more detailed description including sensory details?
The Whole story could be improved with sensory details
5.Does the ending wrap up the story?
No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! defiently need more to get more of a feel for the story.
6.What is clever and/or lively about the ending?
NOT A THING.
hey george
i just wanna know
WHY is this so SHORT?
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