Friday, February 8, 2008

A Memory to Last....

Natana Terra 2/19/08
Creative Writing 6th period
A Memory to Last
She was like a mystic princess of a lost world. She had a wonderful, sincer, innocent glow, but her glow wasn't bright enough to lighten up the darkness that surrounded her. This was the happiest day of her life. She was finally turning the sweet age of six. Her gleaming white teeth reflected the sunlight perfectly, but nothing shone brighter then her gorgeous green eyes. Her golden curls were pinned up to the back of her head just right. She looked inside the small tortured building looking for something to relieve her boredom. She saw a chair that was completely wrapped in wrapping paper and there were many ballons tied to the top. She thought that if she sat in this amazing chair she could maybe fly away. So she decided to take a chance. She sat down on the chair trying not to crease her beatiful white silk dress, which had ruffles like waves flowing down to her knees. She looked around at the beautiful party coming to life as the decorations went up and the ballons popped up like daisies. A huge shadow caught her eye, and lead to woman standing at the doorway. The shadow fell upon her face like a painted mask and showed her features pefectly. The women hurried inside and sparked conversation with the other adults. This would seem boring to any other child, but for some reason she just couldn't look away. Then a loud noise filled the room. The waves of high pitched sound hit the walls and came at her ears with a force. When everyone looked around to see what had happened it occured to them that a silver and glass tray had hit the ground and shattered. Due to safety reasons the chidren were rushed out of the room and into a small apartment, but not the special little girl. Her cousin realized she seemed confused as to why this strange occurence was happening. So, he took her aside and said, "Lets go get you a birthday present". As soon as he finished his sentence she bolted to the car and sat anticipating her surprize. He followed her lead and hopped in the car also. The young girl looked up and saw the clouds trap the sun and drown it in their vast wonders. Her cousin started the car and put it in to first as the lady that had caught her eye earlier was walking out the building with the broken pieces of glass in her hands. Tending to them as if they were children, being careful not to drop one. The young girl looked at this mysterious woman once again, but this time their eyes met. The glance was held between them for a lasting moment until the women dropped the pieces of glass she tended so much to. The young girl's cousin let go of the clutch and the car jumped. The huge metal monster trapped the women on the wall and held her life in it's cold hands. The girl looked up and reliazed that all it took was one moment to take this wonderful presence from this world. The woman's scream scattered the clouds from the sky and the sun beamed down on her as though telling her she was going to a better place. By the expression on her face when she finally passed she seemed to know this. She left this world with a great, big smile. Even through all the tears and people the young beautiful girl saw that the lady's gleaming white teeth seemed to reflect the sun light perfectly, but nothing shone brighter then her gorgeous green eyes.

1 comment:

diva said...

Does this opening interest you?
Yes it does it makes me want to know more about the beatiful yong girl.




Explain. If it does not, suggest a way to make it better.




What do you think the narrative will be about?
I think it will be about the young girl and her hot birthday party.



Summarize the narrative in one or two sentences.

The story was about a young girl who is a waiting her birthday pary and her cousin hits a woman driving to get her a present.


Finish this statement: Things I liked best were…

The things I liked best were the way she explained how the woman got hit by the car she made it seem sad but beatiful.


Complete this statement: Things I would like to know more about were…
How the young girl got over what she saw and how she felt