Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Formidable opponent final draft
My sweaty trigger finger was moving rapidly as i tried to destroy my opponent. The look of fear clouded his face through the foggy mask. Darting through the trees, he swiftly dodged my incoming paintballs. He continued to run, duck, and dodge until he reached the fort where his allies had been nesting. My opponent was fairly easy to identify. He had on black boots and army fatigue overalls to rest over them. In the place where his name tag should be was a tattered slip of paper which I could tell had endured many previous battles. The only letters I could make out on the paper were “J.Or”. At this time, the least of my worries was the name of this person. Instead, the only concern I had was for my safety. Pop! Pop! Pop! I heard the menacing sound of guns as a hailstorm of paintballs dropped on a nearby trench. “Ten seconds left.” The official shouted. This was a crucial period and I was determained to win. He blindly shot in my direction, and then I heard the whizzing of a paintball only a few centimeters away from my ear. Then I returned fire, he wan't so lucky as to just feel the breeze of my fire, he would feel the full effect right between the eyes. I had won , showing my enemy that I was the best, but that wasn't the last time we'd meet.
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1 comment:
Does this opening interest you? Explain. If it does not, suggest a way to make it better.
Yes this intro does intrest me
What do you think the narrative will be about?
I think that the story will be about two people shooting at each other over a conflict that they are having.
Summarize the narrative in one or two sentences.
The narrative was about george and his oopponet having a paintball gun fight.
Finish this statement: Things I liked best were…
I liked the begining of the narrative it was entertaining.
Complete this statement: Things I would like to know more about were…
The ending was a little dry come on what gun fight comes to a draw someone wins and someone has tyo lose.
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